I'm really sorry if this blog post is going to be something on the serious side, but I feel its something everyone goes through in the early stages of adulthood, and there's always a time I can be serious, right? 

They are the questions you used to get a lot when you were little ; 'What do you want to be when your older?', 'Are you going to have babies?' , 'Who are you going to marry?', 'Where are you going to live?'. 
 Its all questions you dont expect to hear much after 12, and they're all pretty light hearted and meeeningless. That wasun til about six months ago when I came to the end of my degree and I was weighing up all my options. 
All of a sudden, those little questions started popping up again, and to be honest I wasn't prepared. 

Since then, I've got my uni results (which weren't a good as I had hoped) been on placement for 12 weeks and ended up on the hunt for a job that can offer me some cash so I can stop feeling like a broke student. 

Currently all regard for a career in my choose field has completly gone out the window - sorry uni lecturers!
And to be frank, all regard of what I thought I wanted in the next 10 years has changed....dramatically! 

So whats the point of this blog post I hear you cry? Well, apart from me telling you whats been running through my head the last couple of months, its more because the most important part of it all was me realising what I wanted from my life, that made all the difference. 
 
I have, for the last five years, been set on the idea of education, that I seemed to have forgot what happens after it. The prospect of even getting a proper job scared the s**t out of me, and quiet frankly still does!

There comes a time, I feel that you just struggle to see your purpose. Only last year my purpose was to finish university and get a degree. Now thats done and over, I have no idea what the hell to do now. It seems a job in Journalism doesn't seem to be on the cards for me, well atleast not right now, so I'm now questioning what I want.

And you know what I want, I want to be bloody happy. Thats it. And it seems that can be hard to find, especially when it balls down to, what makes you happy.

In the last couple of months I have been living off what I earnt in the last month of my internship. Not a lot but its got me through fine. Lesson learnt from that - its not money that makes me happy.
Sure everyone wants nice things, but its not a necessity, for me anyways.

Ive spent hours going over job websites, applying for jobs that took my fancy, attend countless amount of interviews and get turned down at every turn for jobs that I wasn't even 100% on. I have really turned to my blogging and my writing, which once again has become my passion, rather than my career and yet I still seem happy.
Lesson learned - I want a job that will give me scope, but it won't be my life, everything around it will be my life.

I have ambitions and prospects. I want to move out with my boyfriend, I want a new car, I want to travel a little more, I want to have a passion for my writing and more importantly I want to be happy. 

There are so many of us bouncing around doing what we feel we 'need' to do to be happy. Truth is only you know if you're happy, and if you think it will, it most probably won't. Despite being unemployed is a rather dim aspect - right now, I am happy that I have had time to really truly take a step back, assess and see where I want to be.

Money is a necessity for those things, but I know I don't need it to be absolutly happy, but I do to get to the ambitions and prospects that will.
This whole outlook has completely changed my prospect of myself and my future, and it could for you too.

Do you find yourself questioning what you want? Are you stuck at a crossroads and dont know what to do? I'd love to hear what you guys think, so please comment.

Maybe I am the only one that has felt like this and maybe this doesn't make complete sense. I have never done such a personal post that literally feels like I am talking from the little me in my head, so I hope its not too literal.